In this episode, Nicole interviews Alisha, fellow LEOW and licensed marriage and family therapist. She is also a certified First Responder Therapist. She grew up the daughter of a police officer in the Central Valley. After her husband and her were married, he went to the academy and is now a LEO in the Monterey Bay. However, this WAS NOT part of their plan. Listen to the episode to learn how her LEO decided on his career. Alisha and her LEO have two young kiddos, have been married for almost 8 years, and are actively involved in our church community (more so when not in quarantine). She is also the co-founder and owner of Code 3 Counseling in California where she works with her dad (now retired LEO) on providing mental health and educational services to first responders.
In the interview, Alisha discusses the mindset to have as a LEOW in difficult times - that this is a season and it will pass. She also talks about focusing on "what we are going to get from it [tough times]" and how to grow from it. In addition, you will hear about how to hold space during trauma or sadness.
Most notably, she shares her journey with getting her husband hired and settled into a department. They struggled with the political aftermath of issues at his department, which caused problems with him getting hired. And then when he got hired in the Monterey Bay, they did a “long-distance-ish” thing where he would commute to the Monterey Bay from Stockton (3 hours) for his work week and then come home on his days off. They did that for about 18 months before the kids and her moved out when he got off of probation (also, he started the department work when their second child was 14 days old). And then moving out the Monterey Bay, they had absolutely no support system when they moved. Thus, they had to work hard to build for them and have an "us."
LEOW advice from Alisha. "It would be to understand how responders react to the trauma they are exposed to. When we understand the impact of trauma, we can recognize it more easily, and the respond in grace to the problems these responses cause in our marriage/relationship with our responder. This is not to excuse their inappropriate behavior. When we understand that our spouse is responding to the trauma their brain experienced, we can respond in a helpful and constructive way than a shameful and hurtful way. "
Other cool things mentioned in the episode: